Monday, November 21, 2011

Hope

A few days ago I asked all of you to pray for a dear friend of mine who desperately needed a miracle. Sadly, the miracle we had all hoped for didn't come true and she, and her husband are now trying to put the pieces of their lives back together. So, now more than ever they need the love of their friends and family and the kindness of others to get through this difficult time in their lives.

If you would like to hear the story, I would love to share it with you. In hopes that somehow, someway, some good may come of all this. I'm hoping that perhaps by telling this story a new miracle might just happen....

Several months ago on a warm and sunny afternoon my dear friend Karen called me to chat. Which is completely normal for us. However, this call was different. She told me that she had just received a letter from her adopted daughter's birth mother wanting to know if she knew of anyone who was looking to adopt a baby who was due to be born within the next few months. Karen didn't know of anyone at the time, but asked me if I did. Without hesitation I said "Yes, I know where this baby belongs!" and I asked Karen if she knew if the baby was a boy or a girl and she said "Yes, it's a girl!" and then I knew. I have been a long time admirer of a fellow blogger and have followed her blog for years. Several times a week going to visit her special place on the web always in anticipation of what beautiful story or handcraft she had created next. About a year and a half ago she announced that she and her husband had begun the search for their adoptive daughter. I can't explain it but I somehow at that moment felt connected to this but I had no reason to feel that way. I had never spoken to her, never commented on her blog, only admired her from afar. I then began to tell Karen about her and Karen said "How do we contact her?" within minutes I was at my computer sending one of the most bizarre emails I have ever sent..."Hello, you don't know me but I just may know where your daughter is..." kinda message. Within 10 minutes I heard back with a beautiful message saying "Yes, please call me!" We, Alicia and I spoke for what seemed like hours and I told her all that I knew about the birth mom, her circumstances and her unborn child. From there I gave her karen's number and then they spoke for hours as well. Karen and I both knew in our hearts that this was meant to be and that there was some greater force bringing us all together for a miracle. From that moment the wheels started turning. Letters being written and connections being made.We all spoke often and Alicia kept Karen and I up to date on the progress. Within weeks she and her husband Andy travelled half way across the US back to their home state of IL to meet with the birth mom. When Alicia and I spoke after they had met with the birth mom she was so filled with hope and they all felt a mutual connection and the birth mom asked them if they would like to adopt her little girl. For weeks they planned and prepared for their little angel and Alicia and I spoke often talking about so many things including their hopes and dreams for this little girl and I was so thrilled for them. Finally, as the days grew closer to the birth we received news that the baby was on her way and they were headed to IL. I waited and waited and Karen and I both were perched by our phones to hear the news. When the call finally came it was pure bliss. They had her in their arms and they were a family. Karen and I both received text messages with a photo of this little miracle and our hearts were filled with joy for them. The birth mom had surrendered her rights and was thrilled that she had found the perfect parents for her beautiful baby.  I felt such a warmth come over me and I knew that in some tiny way I had been a part of this miracle.

The next morning disaster struck. Karen called me with tears in her voice saying that a potential birth dad had shown up out of nowhere at the hospital wanting his daughter and that we needed to pray. For hours sketchy details were coming in about this guy and our hearts were in our throats. You see, all that we knew prior was that the birth mom wasn't sure of who the birth dad was and that he was no longer in the picture. However, in IL birth fathers have just as many rights to their children as mothers do and when he received word that he may have a child he went to the hospital to claim her. We were all in shock and never ever saw this twist of fate around the bend. The DNA testing took place and for days we waited to hear the news. Finally, the call came and all of our worst fears came true. During the waiting period Alicia and Andy had temporary custody of little Maisie, which is what they had named her. For one week they got to be parents to this little girl, loved her, cared for her, and prayed for her. When the social worker arrived they had to do the unthinkable...give her back. That night their hopes and dreams drove away in a car to an unknown life. They are now safely back home trying to put back the pieces of their life.

I have struggled for days with all of this trying to make sense of it. Cried myself to sleep, talked with other friends who have gone though adoption nightmares and prayed. We will never know the "Why's", but in my heart I know they are destined to be parents someday soon and somewhere out there their daughter is searching for them. Over the past few months as I have gotten to know Alicia and Andy I have fallen in love with them as people and as friends and I know that they are going to be amazing parents and the child that is meant to be theirs will be truly blessed. And so, I end this story with a heavy heart and ask you to please keep Andy and Alicia and baby Maisie in your thoughts and prayers.

Dawn

11 comments:

Laurie said...

God has something marvelous planned for this couple as they wait upon Him. This is a time to trust. I will be praying for this family.

auntie said...

I don't know what faith any of you are but I want to assure all of you that I pray for all involved. I have lost two children to death and countless others who were foster-children who have either gone back to birth parents or to adoptive homes. The pain is intense and very real. My one and only consolation is the love and prayers of family and friends and the knowledge that God is in charge of all that happens in this life. Please assure this couple that there is someone out there who shares their pain and will keep them in prayer. God bless all of you for your love and perseverence.

HerMommy said...

Maybe you're not posting the entire story, but it sounds like the parties involved didn't cover their bases before pursuing the adoption. Of course the father has a right to his child once it's born. I'm very sorry for the couple involved, but let's keep the baby and the new father in our thoughts as well.

chickadee said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Fabienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fabienne said...

So sad to hear this! My prayers and my thoughts go to this couple...

Lauren said...

So funny. I never click on links from Alicia's blog, but for some reason I did today. So many times I've lingered on Posy...and today I happened to click here, a missing piece of the puzzle (just over an hour away from me - I'm down the pike from you in Norfolk!). I've been holding all of them in the light, and now I'll hold you as well...what a wonderful thing you did for them. Such a sad, sad story, but as I said on her blog, I will remain hopeful.

Terri Sue said...

it is so hard at times like these to say God is in controll. to HerMommy, i think they had covered the basis. the mother wasn't sure who the baby's father was. this is a tragedy. but we can rest in the assurance that God IS in controll, and He does have a baby girl out there waiting for them. it may not have beeen conceived yet but God knows of the baby just the same. they will get their baby girl, just later than sooner. now that you have shared their story think of how many more prayers are going to be sent heavenward. good will come of this though it is hard to see now.

Karen said...

I respectfully need to respond to Hermommy. I'm an adoptive mother. Not sure whether you are or not, but it's an unbelievably emotional journey. I assure you that they did they "covered their bases". Please remember that there was a lawyer and social worker involved as well who were covering their bases. Nothing is certain in the adoption world. Not until all the papers are signed is anything certain, and even sometimes then things fall apart. Yes, the ENTIRE story isn't posted out of respect for Alicia, Andy and the birthfamily involved. There are some details that just don't need to be posted. Dawn has been very gracious, just as Alicia has been. All this being said, the birthfamily as well as the hopeful adoptive family have been diligently prayed for by more people than we even know. Mostly this little innocent baby needs prayer . . . her birthmother was trying to get her out of a bad situation and her wishes weren't taken into consideration. So we all need to pray for her safety, and that the home she ends up in will be a loving and good home without the bad influences that surround this situation. Please pray for healing for Alicia and Andy because this is very similar to the loss of a biological child and they will be grieving her loss. Just because she wasn't born to them didn't mean they loved her any less. And there is no way they can now say "she's in a better place without pain". Thank you to all who have kept this family, baby and all involved in your prayers.

Dawn said...

Thank you all for your comments and prayer. Yes, as Karen said there is a lot more to this story but I only wanted to share the truly important details and spare you the rest as that is irrelevant now, and yes, I am protecting everyone involved. The importance to this story is that we all need to continue to hope and pray for everyone involved in this so that somehow we can all find peace.

Adrienne said...

Dear Dawn -
I can't tell you how my heart aches for this precious couple! You see - I, too, am a follower of her blog. Plus, I live not many miles from them so I feel another connection. I have followed their story and read with dismay when they shared the devastating news. My heart aches in a normal way but also because I am an adoptive mother of a beautiful young woman who is now the mother of four precious children. In the early days of our adoption a potential 'father' came forth and posed a bit of an obstacle for awhile. Fortunately, our story had a happy ending.

I 'stumbled' across your blog via Pinterest today and I know it was no accident that I read your words. I truly believe that God has something so special for Alicia and Andy and I honestly hope it comes soon. In the meantime, I continue to pray.
~Adrienne~

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